


How To Write A Good Naruto Self-Insert

by SumiTen



Category: Naruto
Genre: Analysis, Character Analysis, Character Study, Lots of Philosophy, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Realistic, Self-Insert, naruto - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-02-29 06:55:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18773548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SumiTen/pseuds/SumiTen
Summary: What would it really be like if you suddenly ended up in Naruto?





	1. Chapter 1

**Note: For the first couple chapters I will be posting my thoughts and theories on how to put an OC in the Naruto world, and not you know, making it a boring slice of life bits and having her be helping the ninja. Hard, right? I know. Reborn SI fics got it much easier.**

**I will be running through two Scenario's, The Good Scenario and The Bad Scenario. For Both Scenario's you are reverted back to a suitable age. For the Good version you go back to fourteen. For the bad version you go back ten years than your current age. So, if you are like me, a teenager, you're gonna be a little kid.**

**I pity you if you are fourteen and down for this. Because than you will be practically a toddler.**

Ok. So. Let's be real here. Good case scenario first.

You wouldn't suddenly have any powers, and it's unlikely you'd end up anywhere near Konoha. If you do, your fucked. Actually, let's play everything to the ideal.

Ideally, you want to land away from any of the characters, **especially** the villains. They'll kill you, or worse, you'll end up as some lab rat for being an alien. You'll still be dead though, in the end.

You don't want to be anywhere near Shinobi- not until you've figured things out. Now, let's assume a few things that are conveniently in our favor:

1\. You have a chakra system.

2\. You are not near any Shinobi.

3\. You have the supplies needed to live in the wilderness for a bit.

4\. You speak Japanese- or they speak English.

With these things, everything is much easier. Chakra system is the key thing here, without it you'll stand out a bit, especially if you happen to pass by any Shinobi- especially sound nin looking for something weird to bring back to there boss to win points. Now the Language thing is definitely something you want to do.

I myself speak very little Japanese, not enough to hold a conversation but enough to tell what somebody is generally talking about.

Reading it is still a working progress though. But let's say you've got all these things, had your little freak out and now you've made camp and are currently planning out your next move. 

Step One: Find out where you are.

Step Two: Find out when you are.

These are important steps, for simplicity's sake, let's say your some time in between the Nine-Tails attack and the Chunin Exams, aka, Fourth Hokage's death and Third Hokage's death. You're gonna want to use Konoha as a map for events when it comes to checking the timeline, since Tsunade in charge means Shippuden, Kakashi means you can relax and are in the clear until Boruto, of until Naruto is Hokage.

Of course, where you are is also very important. If you're in the Bloody mist, run. Flee. Get the fuck out of there because you don't want to be there. Land of Wind? Well the desert isn't the ideal place to stay and forage for food. Worse place of all would be in Orochimaru's territory. 

Again, for simplicity's sake let's say you're in the Land Of Fire. It's the most familiar. 

So, now your in the Land Of Fire, you've got supplies to set up a camp, you speak the language, you're near a village that you find a job at, you've got plenty of time to figure out what to do about the Fourth Shinobi War. Plus you are young again, and are able to 'train' your body properly. 

Morally, you should try to stop it. You should try to help, it would be the right thing to do, and hey, you were sent here for a reason right? But how to involve yourself?

As a Naruto fan, you've of course would have started trying to manipulate your chakra, and therefore would have begin trying to up your physical strength. Could take some time, it's fine. You've found out you've got about six ish more years until shit hits the fan anyways. That is, three years until the plot starts, and three more years until Shippuden's shit starts.

So you'll seventeen by Naruto Pilot and twenty by Fourth Shinobi War. Yay.

You don't go to Konoha, or try any heroic acts until you've at least mastered tree walking on your own- this would probably take up a good ten months of your year to get yourself there. Keep in mind you are still just civilian who can walk up trees and have no true skills beyond that. You might have also of course trained your body as well to strengthen yourself and lengthen your stamina.

Because let's face is, your gonna be doing a lot of running.

* * *

 

Alight, now that we've done our good scenario prep, let's do that bad one's prep time.

Everything will be less than ideal, that is, if it can go wrong, it will.

Chakra.

You don't have chakra, yet.

Let's say you must apply to the physics of that world, and your body is slowly growing chakra coils, painfully. You have constant ich under your skin, you will slowly overtime feel a dull burning pain in your veins growing so bad you curl up in agony. Once your chakra is finally properly there, you find yourself hypersensitive to chakra.

Any chakra will feel like it's burning you, and the more powerful it is, the more you'll hurt. Not to worry, to keep you alive and not a veggie, your chakra is adapted to not be harmed by other chakra, but to still feel sensitive to it.

Yay you.

Language.

You don't speak much Japanese, but everyone else does and nobody speaks English. This means you are screwed save for the limited Japanese words you know.

Time

Ok, so I'm not gonna be a heartless dick and put you in the warring states period, because honestly steer clear of the ninja and your fine there. No, I'm gonna put you smack dab in the time-skip. You have very little prep time for the deep shit happening.

Location

To make matters infinitely worse, you are also in the Land Of Rice Fields- aka the Sound territory.

Guess who also happen to notice your currently chakraless English speaking self? A very curios group of Sound nin. How lovely, you're even more screwed than you thought! Your best bet is to stay quiet about the whole, 'knowing things' thing. Because, really, you don't want Orochimaru to know these things. Not that they'd be able to understand you, but don't name any names please.

Supplies

You are in your PJ's.

That's it. If you sleep naked, I am sorry my friend.

 

That's it for the prep time, give me your ideas on what might happen in each scenario in the comments!

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Good: Please Suspend You Disbelief With Me...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter the Good Scenario.

**Let's look at the Good and Bad scenario one more time before I go into actually writing the story. The Good Scenario and Bad scenario will follow each other in every chapter, that is, Chapter One Good, Chapter two bad, chapter three good, etc..**

**I'm starting out with good because I've already got an idea of what to do with the good scenario... but the chapter after this one will be the bad one and after that a good one, you get it.  
**

**I was going to do it as a Reader perspective, but as I wrote it, it just didn't feel right, so I will be giving the Good and Bad two OC's.**

**Hana and Kelly.**

**Hana will be the good scenario OC.**

**Kelly will be the bad scenario OC.**

**I chose those two names at random, just in case anyone was curious. They are female because I have more experience with female OC's rather than male ones. Hana and Kelly do not know each other either, actually they are technically the same person, but in two split universes that I've created in order to mess with them both... well more like four or five universes if we're counting the Naruto worlds they enter.**

* * *

 

 

It was about half past noon when Hana found herself suddenly in the middle of the forest.

She'd been scouting out a camping spot in the woods when suddenly she felt dizzy, her vision blurred, before it cleared up and she found herself with unfamiliar surroundings. Now she stood there, confused, trying to figure out where she came from. After about ten minutes of trying to retrace her steps, she gave up and tried her cell. 

There was no signal. Frustrated, Hana held her phone in the air, pacing around the area, trying to catch a signal but found it was useless.

After assessing the situation, Hana decided to set up camp right there. After all, the biggest mistake all of the missing persons cases make is wandering off. She had food supplies that would last her about a week, two weeks if she stretched it. She brought hunting tools as well, so it wasn't as if her rations were her only option.

Hana decided making a fire would be a good decision. A fire big enough to send a smoke signal to her friends or potential rescuers to let her know where she was would benefit her in the long run. Besides, even if they didn't see it, it would leave evidence that she was alive and well should she decided to move her camp closer to a water source. Her bag held three water bottles, so she would need to do that soon.

The sun was getting low, however, so she decided searching for water would be a task for tomorrow.

Hana set up her tent, making a fire and letting the smoke go as high as it could as she sat there, letting herself calm down from the adrenaline burst from the panic she'd experienced earlier. It was then that she noticed she felt a little different. Strange.

She felt her face, and noticed it felt... she was sure, maybe smoother? They looked different somehow. Out of curiosity Hana fetched her phone, looking in the camera and gasped.

She was younger! Hana stared at her face in shock, she looked like a child! Well, not quite that young, her body was still mostly developed, though her boobs might be a little smaller... if she had to guess she'd say she was in her earlier teens, maybe thirteen or fourteen.

Hana traced a hand across her face as she stared at herself, wrapping her brain around the situation. Hana set her phone down, running a hand through her hair she tried to think of what could possibly be happening.

Was she dreaming? Did she already set up camp and now she was in some kind of surreal dream? Was she hallucinating? Did she maybe eat something weird? What was the reason for this?

Eyeing the woods around her in the a new light, Hana reached into her bag and pulled out a massive global plant life book. If she was hallucinating or dreaming she wouldn't be able to dream up plants she's never heard of, she just got this book to. She stood, walking over to the woods and tried to identify the plants or trees.

She found some strange looking grass like plants that littered the forest floor, and looked into her book to identify this plant. Finally, after some flipping she found it and paled. The Hakonechloa Macra, a form of forest grass in japan.

Hana blinked, before looking for another plant, a tree this time. She found Japanese Black Pine. She looked again. And again. Nothing local to her campsite. There were no plants that should be at the park in the area she was in. She walked back to the campsite, running a hand through her hair as she tossed the book back into her bag.

This wasn't good. She didn't seem to be in the park. She felt crazy, but she didn't think she was anywhere near where she'd been when she arrived. Somehow, she'd been transported somewhere very far from her previous destination, and it all happened in an instant.

Hana was shocked, and sat there in a quiet daze, thinking over her next move. She put out the fire. If she was in a new land, then she didn't know why and or who was there. She also didn't know what there intention were, so keeping her location a secret would be a better idea.

She would stay the night and head on in the morning. Hopefully she could get to the bottom of this soon.


	3. Bad: Please Send Help My Way

It was cold when she awoke in water, having found herself in a rice field, she sat up in confusion, disoriented. Kelly's heart nearly leapt out of her chest when she found herself not in her room. She scrambled to her feet and she found, much to her horror, there were _dozens of huntsman spiders_ littering the field. 

Letting out a ear piercing scream Kelly jumped around as she flailed and her screams echoing throughout the area. She ran frantically trying to get the small furry creatures off her body, her clothing, a pair of loose shorts and a t-shirt with kitty print with a pair knee high harry potter socks, completely soaked and covered in mud.

Kelly ran out of the rice field, whimpering as she whacked the spiders off her, she ran her hands through her hair, undoing her braid it was in, to comb through the messy long locks as she searched for spiders.

After several minutes of frantic swatting and screaming, she calmed down, still paranoid of spiders but now aware enough to assess her situation. She was not in her room, she was in a rice field near somewhere that looked like rural japan.

Kelly was in her PJ's, now soaked to the bone and covered in mud. She had no meant to contact anyone. Her only option was to find people, seeing as this was clearly farm land.

It was also around this time that Kelly realized something very important.... her boobs were gone. Not only that, but she was shorter and smaller now to.

She was like a child.

Kelly screamed again upon this realization. This induced another panic attack, followed by a calm numb expression on her face as she tried to think of what she should do.

Ignoring the horrible feeling of dread in her gut, Kelly headed towards a road she spotted nearby, walking down the path she rubbed her arms and hands together in order to keep herself warm. She jumped at any sound she heard, and she shivered constantly, her breathing loud and shaky as her teeth chattered.

Finally she spotted a light, and ran towards it- it was a house! Frantically she knocked on the door, which was opened by a elderly woman who looked her over with suspicion. Then she spoke, and Kelly could not understand a word she said. Kelly blinked.

"What?" She asked for clarification. The woman looked annoyed, before saying some more gibberish. Again, Kelly just stood there, mouth agape before the woman scowled at her, yelling at her and grabbing a broom, whacking Kelly in the head sending her flying to the ground.

Kelly saw stars momentarily, before scrambling to her feet and glaring at the woman. "What the hell you crazy old hag?!" The woman yelled something back at her before slamming the door shut.

Cursing, Kelly walked away, realizing the woman didn't speak English and recognizing the language as Japanese. She didn't know much Japanese beyond 'baka' and 'Nani' and 'hentai' among others. Nothing that would actually help her though. 

What kind of fucked up person would hit a kid, anyways? She couldn't look older than eight!

Kelly let out a frustrated yell, rubbing her face already feeling the bruise beginning to form. She walked onward, looking for a different house- she couldn't really be in rural Japan, right? She must be though, as all evidence points to but one explanation.

Sitting down on the side of the road, Kelly hugged her knees trying to keep warm. She could remove her cloths to dry them- but there was no way she was going to around naked in a place like this.

Kelly closed her eyes and prayed she wouldn't die of exposure- though the night didn't seem very cold, it was only the fact she was wet as to why she was so cold right now.

Being wet made it seem colder.

Kelly wasn't sure how long she was there, numb and lost in thought, trying to wrap her head around how she'd gotten there, why she was a child again, and what she should do when she heard footsteps nearing her. Still tired and in her state of despair she looked up to see three weird looking people, all male and older than her. This instantly put her on edge as she stood up.

"Who are you?" She asked, then smacked herself mentally. They aren't likely to speak English either! Her thoughts were proven correct when they started talking in gibberish to each other, and in the dark Kelly noticed something shiny on there heads reflecting off the moonlight.

Upon seeing what it was, her heart sunk and her eyes widened. They were headbands- like the ones they wore in Naruto. Shinobi headbands... come to think of it they did appear out of nowhere to, she only heard them when they were just a few meters away from her. 

What the fuck?

She examined them closer, and the feeling of dread and uneasiness started to increase. These men... they had sound _headbands_. Like, from Otogakure, _Orochimaru's_ experimental village... these men... they aren't actually Shinobi right? Kelly took a step back, tensing in preparation to run, before she just took off at top speed, which wasn't very fast for a eight year old.

She screamed when one of the men appeared in front of her, _as if out of thin air_. She stopped, rooted to the spot in terror as her heart beat in her throat and her instincts screamed at her to run. 

The man chuckled before saying something to the others. He took her arms, tying them behind her back securely as Kelly did little to fight back, to scared and in shock to move, and her child like arms useless regardless of what she did.

Hell, she doubted she'd been able to do much against them even if she was in her original self. As a child? No chance. Kelly was tossed over the shoulder of the Shinobi and carried off to who knows where, still in shock and numb from her realization.

She was in Naruto.

* * *

**And there is the bad scenario as well.  
**

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Good: Survival is a game we play

Hiking through the woods wasn't exactly fun, but it was strangely refreshing.

It's been two days since she'd arrived in this forest, and so far she's seen no signs of life.

But even still, Hana hasn't given up hope. She's an optimist, so she can't stop. Silver Lining, she could be in a desert, those are far worse living conditions. But you can survive in a forest better than a desert. You have more resources in the woods. She keeps moving, always packing up camp and moving on until the evening before setting up her tent again.

She's refilled her water bottles in nearby rivers after filtering the water, and she's still got food so she hasn't been reduced to hunting animals yet.

Hana still doesn't know how or why she's here, she's theorized about wormholes and dimension slips. She's replayed the moment she felt her world spin over and over again in her head. She's just not sure, but she feel different as of late. She didn't notice it before because of all the adrenaline and fear, but now she's just starting to notice a few things.

It's like she has some kind of foreign energy in her system, she can move it to, it makes her run faster than normal and jump higher as well. Nothing crazy, she's not suddenly spider man, but it's a difference she's noticed.

So she's played with this hypothetical energy. Messed with it at night, moved it around in her body, molding it and shaping it. It's oddly soothing, yet terrifying at the same time.

When she's not doing that, she's surveying the land, looking for anything from humans, animal traps, paths, roads, trash, or things like that.

It wasn't until her third day did she find something, and boy, did it confuse her.

She arrived at the scene, completely unaware and tired until she noticed the trees had these marks on them, like someone had stabbed them. It looked like there had been some kind of fight, with weapons involved, and fire power to, judging by the scorch marks. Hana combed through the area, searching for anything. Then she found something baffling.

A kunai. Hana stared at it, confused as to what on earth something like this was doing in the woods. Then it clicked, but Hana refused to acknowledge it... until she sat nearby the... the battle field, and examined the kunai.

It was exactly like the ones in Naruto- there was no denying the resemblance. There had been some blood on the tip, she knew that it had been used.

Still, she wondered, and the more she thought about it, the more it made sense- even if it makes her sound like a lunatic. She found a kunai, and what looked like the remains of a battle. It even reached into the trees, she could see the marks and broken branches from down there. There were even people sized wholes in the ground. There had been a fight here, and it wasn't a normal one.

The energy she felt, it could be chakra. It all made so much sense, and she felt terrified thinking about it. But it made so much sense, and thanks to that, she felt the feelings of anxiety go from before. She knew where she was. Now, she had to come to terms with what she was in for.

Because in all honesty, the Shinobi world was rough, and she needed proper evidence before deciding she was in a fictional universe. 

She couldn't just accept that she was in the Naruto world, I mean that's just plain ridiculous.

But at the same time, she felt like it was true.

 

 

 

 


	5. Bad: Into the Den of A Snake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelly feels the effects of being exposed to chakra for a long period of time... it infects her.

Kelly felt sick.

Not just your normal sick, this was deeper, much worse. Her skin felt like it was crawling, her bones hurt, and she couldn't stop shaking. She thought she had some kind of illness from being wet and cold last night, so she cursed whatever god sent her there.

Those Shinobi knocked her out after she'd snapped out of her daze and had another panic attack while trying to attack them out of fear. She woke up in a cell, surrounded by others, who she couldn't speak to because of the language barrier. Not that any of them tried, they were all young like she was, and quite frankly they looked more scared than she was.

Kelly took a few moments to herself, keeping to the corner in the back, regaining her baring before standing up and walking to the bars, peering out.

In all this mess she refuses to let herself cower like a child.... even if she technically looked no older than eight... some of the kids and other people who were older than her, tried to tell her to sit back down.

Or at least that's what she assumes they were saying. She just shook her head at them, and looked out into the hallways. They were unguarded. Strange.

 _So this is Orochimaru's hideout. Lovely... of all the fictional characters to meet. It had to be the crazy snake man._ Kelly thought, grimacing at the rather painful bought of twisted pain hit her. _Granted, I might not actually meet him... he couldn't have met all his test subjects right? Those could be from... Kabuto to, right? Or maybe henchman? Hehe... I'm probably gonna meet the pre-Boruto version._

Kelly leaned on the wall. _Yep, that would be my luck, otherwise I could try to get Yamato's attention and spill on what I know to get myself a ticket to... a different prison. But at least I know the Hokage would be either Kakashi or Naruto if that were the case, and they aren't going to turn me into a test subject._

Kelly mused to herself about the different timelines and different ways to get out she had, different options. What she would do and say if she did come face to face with Orochimaru. With killing intent being a factor, she would have to fight really hard to keep even a shred of her own dignity. 

Yeah... she really would have to get ready endure hell. Pure hell. Though, with her current pain level she might not mind them at least mention what was wrong with her- except that stupid language barrier... she would learn the language if nothing else.

Kelly felt a spike of pain across her skin like a burn and hissed, before she glanced down and noticed she was glowing. The other prisoners jumped away from her as if they were burnt- and they were being almost burnt. She noticed some red skin in on the kids, and kept herself away from them, her back pressed against the bars.

"Sumimasen!" She apologized to the others, using one of the words she knew, before turning her back and looking around. She needed to get out of the cell so she wouldn't hurt anyone else. She yelled, and banged against the cell bars. She reached around, trying to slip through the bars.

She wasn't skinny enough yet, though a few days of starvation might to the trick. Kelly winced in pain as she felt like needles were pricking her all over.

Frustrated, Kelly screamed in anger, her ear piercing screech echoing across the halls. Finally, she heard someone walking over and looked up- her eyes widened. It was Yakushi Kabuto, looking at her with wide eyes. Her eyes narrowed and she hit the bars again. Kabuto walked over, and noticed the others all pressing themselves against the other wall, looking between the two in terror, as Kelly kept her gaze fixed on him.

He gestured for her to move, and she did, taking a step to the side. He opened the door and told her something, but Kelly stepped out, still not breaking eye contact with him.

Then she decided to speak. "So I have no idea what you are saying, let's just make each other clear right away that communication in this manner will be difficult." She told him. Kabuto blinked, studying her face for a couple seconds before saying some gibberish. Once she did not respond he motioned for her to followed, careful not to touch her. Kelly could tell she was radiating heat or energy, and it was burning anything she came in contact with.

Her hand prints on the bars told her that much. She was led into a lab, this made her uneasy. Kabuto motioned for her to get on the table, and she obliged after some 'coaxing'.

She stopped however when she pointed at herself. "Kelly." She said. Kabuto paused and looked at her, confused flickering in his eyes. Then she pointed to him. "Namae?" She asked for his name. Kabuto blinked and tilted his head. "Kabuto." Kelly grinned at him. "Kabuto-san." Kabuto looked at her, she knew he was working out what she was getting at and why she was trying to communicate, whether she was playing him or not.

She knew he might think she was a spy. But at the same time she wasn't and he could tell by her condition. Kabuto continued... whatever weird test thing he was doing. Kelly tried to keep herself from fidgeting and seeming nervous. She also prayed that she wouldn't get killed, and mentally repeated some of the things she's heard from Naruto and Sasuke over and over again trying to convince herself to be brave and stay strong.

After all, at the moment the only thing she had control of was her reaction. 

Kabuto stopped whatever he was doing, looking at her and speaking. Kelly didn't react, she didn't know what he was saying. Kabuto stopped talking and looked at her, before sighing.

Then her 'lessons' began.

He would point to things and name them, so she would do the same. He was trying to learn her language... and teach her his in order to communicate. Huh, interesting.

But then the 'tests' were over, and he returned her to... a empty cell. Ok. So she is now isolated from the others. Makes sense, she is damaging the other by her presence, even Kabuto got burned if her touched her.

She was worried, Kabuto was acting friendly to her because that's just what he does. She seems to be glowing with chakra, so that's probably why he was nice, so she would remain calm and cooperative. She was technically a child at the moment.

Still, this worried her, because Kabuto was most likely going to Orochimaru to tell him about her... weird ass condition.

Kelly could handle Kabuto.... but Orochimaru? Yeah... she wasn't sure about that.

 

 

 

 


	6. Good: Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hana discovers the truth.

She found a village.

It was about mid day when she saw the smoke coming up from above the trees, when she found the dirt road winding it's way through the trees until she finally found a collection of little huts, it was the most joyful moment of her life.

Hana walked into town, looking around at the people- there were maybe four or five people giving her odd looks. This place, it felt alive! She could feel the presence of people she missed so much. It was refreshing after being alone in the woods for so long. 

It took her a moment to collect herself, and walked over to the nearest non threatening person, a woman in her mid to late thirties. Hana did note that the people hear did appear Japanese, their clothing was a dead give away. Perhaps she had in fact traveled through time instead, as this certainly didn't look like a modern village.

"Excuse me ma'am, but could you please tell me where I am?" Hana spoke, choosing to speak Japanese, she asked as politely as she could, offering a smile. The woman looked at her for a moment, as if confused. "You're in Hiyama village, in the Land of Fire." She said cautiously as she eyed Hana's clothing and face. 

_Impossible._

Hana controlled her reaction, though she felt her stomach flip at the name as she stood there with hidden disbelief. She thanked the woman, keeping the smile on her face before heading back away from the village, out of the sight of the locals as whispers began to spread.

Once she was out of sight, Hana collapsed by a tree, her false demeanor evaporating as she tried to process the information she'd just been given. _Land Of Fire?! As in... as in Naruto?! A fictional story?! Is it coincidence? No... no. it couldn't be..not with the energy I've been feeling.. it's true... I'm in Naruto...  
_

This revelation both excited and terrified her. After all, she couldn't deny ever wishing for this place to be real, for a chance to meet the characters, for the possibility of saving the ones she cried over. But then again, she always thought it was a good thing that was impossible, the Shinobi world is not exactly kind. 

Hana wasn't a fool, she knew the danger. She knew what would happen if people found out exactly what she knew- even if by a chance she was in the time of Boruto, she knows to many secrets.

Silence would be best for her, however, she couldn't help the desire to help, the desire to intervene. But that thought terrified her, Shinobi were practically inhuman, how on earth would she survive them?

The Akatsuki, Orochimaru, hell, even Konoha, this world was full of monsters. If any of them found out what she knew thousands could die, innocent people could die and the world could end. Literally the lives of everyone on the entire fucking planet would be at risk if she caused any butterfly effect with her desires to mess with the plot. It would be all her fault.

 **They could be watching her.** The thought made Hana's breath catch in the back of her throat as she looked around blindly at the trees, as if they concealed a hidden foe watching her, waiting to pounce.  **Shinobi are everyone in this world how do you know they aren't watching you? Cornering you watching you they are everywhere watching watching-**

 _Stop. Breath. Think. Calm down, Hana._ She told herself, taking a deep breath, and looking up at the sky. _Nobody knows you know. Nobody knows you exist. They cannot touch you if they don't know you exist, if they don't know what you truly are. Keep what you are to yourself and they won't come for you. It's alright. Calm down._ She reasoned, ordering herself to let go of the paranoia that had began to creep up her spine, the fear that had been twisting itself through her chest dissipated as she relaxed, forcing herself to think rationally.

No Shinobi should be here, and even if they did she's just a weary oddly dressed girl traveling around, nothing more. Her name is thankfully similar enough to the Japanese Hana meaning flower, so she can keep her original name. Now it would just be a matter of a cover story on the event anyone ever asked her where she's from and the like so she doesn't appear suspicious. She should make herself seem as normal as possible, though.

Hana stood, recovering from her breath panic attack and headed back towards the village. _Well, it looks like I should start with blending into the village. If that's the case, I'll need money, so it's time to see if anyone is hiring._

* * *

**I'm back~ So sorry it took so long to update, lost inspiration there for a moment... heh.. anyways, I'd love to know what you guys think of Hana, I'm trying to go for realistic here in the discover and Hana's had this edging at the back of her mind for a while so this reaction was as real as I could get without it getting... well, ridiculously angst.  
**

**Keep in mind the first thing on Hana's mind is survival, and I think the shock and realization, the full realization like never being able to see her family again, should be a slow burn kind of thing. She an optimist, so she hasn't yet considered the possibility that this is a one way trip for her.**

**I'll try and post something with Kelly as soon as I can, any suggestions are welcome! Reviews are love!**

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Tip: Self Insert... tossed into the world.

**Well this isn't part of the Hana and Kelly chapters, but in an attempt to properly organize this fic, every five chapters will be a chapter full of tips for SI's, I'll also be adding in tips at the begining of the chapters.**

**So this is the tip chapter. Let's see what to avoid, shall we? Keep in mind this fic is for those who want to make realistic SI's. Crack fics or parodies are a different story that I will not be covering.  
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Let's talk about the categories bad SI's can be placed into. I will be adding in my own opinion and I'm just talking from my own personal experience. This is not a perfect guide as I myself am still learning. Here are the three types I find often in SI fanfictions.

 

The Mary-Sue and the "realist."

 

 

The Mary-Sue is the most common, for obvious reasons. Now, the term is often tossed around so here is how to properly identify one. 

 

First, the Wiki definition: "A **Mary Sue** is an idealized and seemingly perfect [fictional character](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Character_\(arts\)). Typically, this character is recognized as an [author insert](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-insertion) or [wish fulfillment](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wish_fulfillment).[[1]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Sue#cite_note-1) They can usually perform better at tasks than should be possible given the amount of training or experience, and usually are able through some means to upstage the protagonist of an established fictional setting, such as by saving the hero."

 

Now, by this definition, anyone who ends up more powerful than the main character is a Mary-Sue, but, then by that logic Itachi Uchiha could classify as a Mary-Sue, and beyond that, Self Inserts are not be default Mary-Sue's. The problem is.. well, if the fanfictions runs something like this, let's see where it goes wrong:

 

 

Twelve year old Sayuri Suzuki appeared in the Naruto where she landed just outside the main gates. "Oh my gosh! I'm in Naruto! This is amazing!" Said Sayuri staring at the main gates in awe. Then Anbu saw and sensed a large chakra presence coming from the girl so they took her to the Hokage. The Hokage then asked who she is, and she tells him she's from another world. The Hokage let's her become a Leaf Shinobi where she graduates with team seven at the top of her class, and ends with them as an extra member. She manages to convince Haku and Zabuzza to be good guys, Sasuke falls in love with her and she manages to stop Orochimaru from killing everyone.

 

End of Part One of Naruto.

 

So where did the story go wrong?

 

A. Her age.

B. Landing near Konoha.

C. Having a lot of chakra. 

D. The Hokage just letting her become a Shinobi.

E. Graduating the Academy and Joining Team Seven.

F. Sasuke falling in love with her.

G. Convincing the bad guys to be good.

H. Stopping Orochimaru.

I. Going to the Hokage.

J. Graduating top of her class.

 

 

 

 

Alright... let's break this down to show you why this could work, and why it doesn't.

 

Her age, not that much of a problem, given context. For instance Kelly is a child in my story but she technically isn't- she was de-aged. Rebirth fics work the same way, they aren't really that age then it doesn't count as Mary-Sue. But, since she actually is twelve going to the Hokage and telling him everything makes sense. So it explains A and I.

 

Landing near Konoha? Well that's just luck- or misfortune, depending on how you interpret it. Not entirely unreasonable plus it is where the focus of the story is located. B is explained.

 

Having a large amount of chakra? Well, again, that could work, it could be played into the story as to why she was even there in the first place- or it could be side effect. Not the problem.

 

The Hokage letting her become a Shinobi. Alright, so, little girl appearing out of nowhere with a high amount of chakra with a nice amount of potential and already an admiration for the village? Yeah, he'd take advantage of that and turn her into a Shinobi.  

 

Graduating from the Academy with Team seven. Now that is where things get a little murky. That is where she starts to overshadow the main characters. Plus, graduating top of her class? Eh... no... that wouldn't work here. In this case of a SI you can't be apart of team seven. Sure, she might be able to be top of her class, given that she was already a nerd, but she would have a problem with the Taijutsu classes. If this is just a twelve year old girl she would not graduate so soon, not unless she was a year before the plot, and even then she would be behind everyone else because she would have to study everything. Plus from what I can tell Sakura was using Geometry in the Chunnin Exams, so with that level of math I doubt a Middle schooler would be able to graduate just like that.

 

As for Sasuke... yeah... unlikely. Mary-Sue flag ship. Young Sasuke had no care for romance and I'm not good enough with romance fics so I can't help ya much in how to not make it... well... Sue.

 

The bad guys... well, like I said she wouldn't be on Team Seven so she wouldn't be able to do much about Haku and Zabuzza, and Orochimaru would probably have a back up plan.

 

Now let's talk about how to do it right.

 

You wanna know how you can make your OC as strong and involved with the plot as possible? Well, I recommend a rebirth for easiest explanation. SI's can't do the same things as a Rebirth one can. Then you can make them graduate at a ridiculously young age and have them just be better at a lot of things than everyone else- why? 

 

Because the OC isn't really a kid. They are an adult in a child's body. So they will learn faster- because they already know things kids don't so they can focus on the Ninja work and advance faster. They'll graduate faster because they only need to really learn the ninja stuff. They'll have an adult's mind, so of course they would be prodigies.

 

You want your OC on team seven? Body snatch fic- or have the OC born in the same generation as Naruto and have them purposely taking Sakura's place at the top Kunoichi. Body snatch fics give you way more room to, for fanfiction. I'm doing a Sasuke one myself though I consider that more a parody that a realistic one. I've seen Sakura replaced the most often, which is easy to explain:

 

Sakura doesn't really provide much beyond emotional support to the characters and she doesn't have any special destiny to worry about. Like if your OC was Naruto you'd have to worry about Akatsuki, Obito, Kaguya, etc.. you know, and you'd have to figure out Talk-no-Juts.

 

Sasuke, you'd have to worry about Kaguya as well, but also you'd have to worry about Orochimaru... yeah he's ya biggest issue. Ironically you want to worry about the due trying to steal the body you stole. Heh.

 

But, yeah, I'm getting off topic.

Let's see: 'The Realist"

 

"Realist's" can actually have an interesting story, but their problem is that everything is always focused on the angst part and how tragic terrible everything is in all the wrong ways. 

 

Now, an example of this done right, however, can vary. If you want your character to be unlikable, that is, you want a "realist". 

 

This one fanfiction I read, I mean it's actually a story I like and I will not name, but the character in the story, let's call her E.

 

So E ends up in Naruto, oh boy. She's a lot like Kelly, actually, but more... entitled? The character herself was what I found unlikable, but the story was fascinating, I loved this concept and it's part of my inspiration for Kelly's story. So E isn't alone, she has a friend, let's call her B.

 

E and B end up in a lovely little village, learn Japanese, everything is fine. For some reason they don't even consider where they are on the map, and that is right next to the Land of Rice Patties, or, Orochimaru's territory.

 

B is adjusting to peasant life fine, while E is just insulted by the idea of weeding a garden and not having food all the time. Honestly this girl was a real piece of work and entitled is the perfect word for her character. For B, it's naive.

 

Now, B comes in contact with Kabuto Yakushi, and she's never watched Naruto. E, never told her much about Naruto either, which is honestly her biggest mistake, aside from parking it right next to where Orochi lives. So of course Kabuto charms B because he notices she doesn't have chakra.

 

E is hostile towards Kabuto for seemingly no reason (No placed reason she shouldn't know who he is), she is terrified and rightfully so- but she never even gives him a proper look over, and like always she let's her emotions control her, her pride specifically. She calls him Sound. He is wearing a Leaf headband.

 

They are taken. They come face to face with Orochimaru. E is ready to accept death rather than tell him anything. B doesn't want to die so she tells them E is a prophet.

 

E proves it and offers them info. Orochimaru is curious and amused by E, and so humors her. B is taken to a cell while E is kept in a room.

 

Now, this, let's analyze E's lack of survival skills or tact, and keep in her woe is me, attitude. 

Her biggest complaint is her lack of luxuries, and then it is being held captive by Orochimaru.This.. story could have been so much better with a more... likeable OC. But it is still good as it is. 

 Why? let's see: OC is the cause of her misery, her mistakes led her to that point.

 

Mistake One: Staying near Orochimaru's territory.

Mistake Two: Not telling B anything.

Mistake Three: Assuming she deserved better treatment.

 

 

If she had moved away from Orochimaru's territory, then she probably would not have encountered Kabuto. If she had told B anything, like about their homicidal neighbors, they might not have been kidnapped and then turned into lab rats. If she had not been so entitled, she might not be so upset with her situation.

 

But this is a perfect example of a well done 'realist.'

 

Side Note/rant: Now, I never understood what kept her from moving, the author said in order to move you need money, but frankly that isn't true. They have nothing to move, and while they had to stay there to learn Japanese from an old lady they were staying with (sorry didn't mention it) she could have moved as soon as they were properly able to speak, as they meet Kabuto after three years go by, and they move away from old lady and into an Inn nearby. I don't understand why anyone in there right mind would want to be THAT close to Orochimaru's territory, yeah there are risks, but staying there obviously didn't go well for them, so why would pulling a gypsy be any different? Idk.

 

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**Well that's basically a few tips about tossing your OC into another world. Just don't make it seem... well, silly. Use rational thinking and logic, but obey the rules of that world and don't make your OC more important than Naruto- that is, don't replace him. I'll go into body snatchers next time. Reviews are magic!**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	8. Bad: Meeting the Serpent

Kelly was terrified.

Kabuto had taken her from her cell just moments ago, and now he was leading her down a hallway which was most certainly not the one from the other times he took her out. She forced herself to keep a straight face, relaxing her face muscles in order to appear clam while her heart was beating in her chest. Her fingernails were close to digging into her palms as she was lead to a larger room, where she was then forced to her knees. 

She grit her teeth as she fought the overwhelming urge to panic upon feeling a heavy, and frightening, and definitely not friendly presence in the room. The dull glow coming from her was enough to contrast the lights, the flames yellow glow meeting green energy as Kelly looked up, wanting to see the face of the man she knew was there. 

She saw yellow eyes looking down at her curiously, flicker over to Kabuto he spoke- she did not understand much, she couldn't pay attention as she was to busy keeping herself together.

Finally, after much discussion she heard words directed at her. He was mocking her, commenting on how she trembled- she was trembling? Oh, she was. Kelly forced herself to stand, which did nothing to help the trembling but she didn't want to appear weak- no she wasn't going to allow that.

She was already appearing as a scared frightened little girl and her pride could only handle so much. So she stood up and decided if she was going to die she would do so staring death in the face. She glared at Orochimaru, who only laughed at this attempt of bravery.

Kelly straightened her back and squared her feet, standing firmly now, though she still trembled. _Stupid child body._ The energy in her burned as it clashed with the chakra in the air, most likely from the man in front of her, and she made a decision.

 _No.. I will not just stand here and take it, I'm going to fight back- they'll kill me regardless. I don't care, I'm doing something._ Kelly felt the energy inside her bubble up as she tried to control it, tried to push it forward, outward.

Her skin burned, every nerve screamed for her to stop, but she didn't, she pushed and her dull glow brightened and spirals of chakra lashed outward, creating cracks on the flooring and walls. Wind flew in all directions appearing out of nowhere, Kabuto covered his eyes at the high wind speed, putting chakra in his feet to keep from blowing away. 

Kelly's face was twisted up in concentration to control the burning chakra, her eyes never leaving Orochimaru's despite the spots that began to appear. 

Then everything stopped, at if a string that was being pulled finally snapped, and Kelly felt a rocket of blinding pain shoot through her body, before she fell to the ground suddenly, vaguely aware of her surroundings, and the voices that continued to speak soon after she collapsed.

_Well, this sucks..._

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**__Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I'll begin classes soon so I'll probably not have a lot of free-time, but I'll try to update when i can. Reviews are love!  
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